Today’s L.A. Times commentary by Heather Havrilesky, a television critic for Salon.com, includes some sanguine advice for how to cope with the fiction that will be this year’s State of the Union Address. Her advice? Drink. And not just a bubbly little sipping wine while you watch the horror unfold. No, her suggestion is far more devious. It’s a drinking game that has you take a drink every time the Prez says something specific, like “terror” or refers to “9/11″ or countless other little gestures and phrases to watch out for. It sure seems like it will make the time pass less painfully. Sure, we’ll still have to sober up in the morning and face the real state of our nation, but please, not tonight. Tonight I’ll be drinking. Pass me the growler.

Pizza Port, with three locations in the San Diego area, have acquired the old Stone Brewing Co. production brewery in San Marcos. A press release should be forthcoming, but Pro Brewer and others began reporting the rumor a couple of days ago.

Tomme Arthur Director of Brewery Operations

I spoke with Pizza Port’s Director of Brewery Operations, Tomme Arthur, this morning and he confirmed the news. He was already onsite and brewing. So it’s official. It lools like bottled Pizza Port beer should become more widely available in the near future which is good news for beer lovers everywhere. Stone Brewing moved to a new larger facility late last year in nearby Escondido, and negotations had been ongoing between the two breweries. The Beer Yard, a Pennsylvania distributor where Tomme Arthur recently visited reported that he told them the following. Two distinct lines will be produced and bottled at the 30-barrel brewhouse. Port Brewing will produce draft and bottled versions of Pizza Port’s core beers while The Lost Abbey will do bottle-only versions of “Belgian-inspired ales.” The first beers from the new brewery are expected to be released in California by March and in Arizona by summer.

Every few years one of these pointless beer label scandals comes around again, as if to remind us how Puritanical our American society really is. Off the top of my head there’s been Bad Frog Beer, Polygamy Porter, Wanker and Nude Beer, to name but a few. During their fifteen minutes, the press lavished them with free publicity and pandered to a vocal minority determined to force their own morality on the rest of us. Usually some fake debte is trotted out asking questions on the order of “is it too offensive,” “too obscene” and my personal favorite, “what about the children?”

The latest fake controversy comes from my hometown of Reading, Pennsylvania. The beer is question in from Legacy Brewing, but the last time I visited them it was called Fancy Pants and before that it was Neversink Brewing. This time the offending label is Hedonism Ale because it features — gasp — hedonism. Ot at least an artist’s rendition of hedonism. The artwork is not in the least bit tittilating; it reveals everything but shows nothing.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I like it. I think artist Deric Hettinger’s label drawing nicely conveys the idea of hedonism. And it’s different enough from most beer labels that controversy aside, it would stand out on a beer shelf. But it’s beer. It’s made specifically for adults. You know, people who can probably deal with a little hedonism, or at least should be mature enough to handle things like adults. So when beer distributors themselves complain, I have to laugh at the hypocrisy. Out loud. As reported in the online local news site, Lancaster Online (which covers the county directly southwest of Berks, where Legacy Brewing is located), Bob Dano, owner of Engleside Beverage Mart on South Prince Street sent his back, saying “[m]y wife thought it was obscene and so did I.” Well, golly Bob. Did you know you work in a beer distributor and sell beer to adults. If the state and the Feds approved the label, get over yourself. But wait, there’s more. What about the children? Who’s looking out for the children? Don’t worry, Apal Shah is on the case (pun intended). He’s still selling the beer, but he’s literally wrapping each case up in a brown paper wrapper. You can’t buy publicity like that at any price.

“It’s not proper for my store,” said Beer Ink (another yahoo beverage store, this one on Centerville Road) owner Apal Shah. “We have lots of small kids coming in here with their parents. I don’t want them seeing those pictures.” Small kids at the beer store? With their parents? Oh, the humanity! Are you kidding? Your objection is that children might see vaguely representational drawings of people touching one another. Do you think they’ll rush right out and try what they saw in the pictures. And then you’ll be somehow responsble? Will the parents who brought their kids in your store in the first place think it was your fault because you didn’t make a beer store safe for the kiddies? Hey Apal, your sign says “think you are old enough for this beer?” Isn’t everyone at the beer store old enough? My understanding of PLCB regulations is that you have to be of legal drinking age to shop in a beer store. Unless, of course, you’re fool enough to take your kids with you on a beer run. You never know what sort of hedonistic sights they might inadvertently see, ruining their innocence forever. Why they’d have to run home, bar the door and only watch clean, wholesome television. My point here is simply that kids are exposed to far worse — from the prude’s point of view — in an average hour of TV watching. And I’m not even talking about the programming, what’s affectionately known as “filler” by TV execs. Just look at sixty minute’s worth of television commercials and then look at this beer label. What’s the first thing you notice? That only a complete buffoon would have an objection to it, especially on the grounds that have been reported.

But since Legacy Brewing has thoughtfully provided a link to every story that has reported on the controversy, I’m pretty sure they’re on to the game. As PR people are fond of saying, there’s no such thing as good publicity or bad publicty, only publicity. So while I can’t necessarily blame Legacy for creating the controversy, I suspect that they had some idea of how some of their customers might react. After all, there are certainly no shortage of uptight, narrow-minded conservative types in the Reading area. Believe me, I grew up there. Religious intolerance is rampant in the Commonwealth I knew. They’ve got Arlen Spector and Rick Santorum. I defy you to find a state where both U.S. Senators are as conservative as these two chuckleheads. In Pennsylvania you can only buy wine and liquor from the state, in state stores, many of which in 2006 are still closed on Sunday because of traditional religiously-based blue laws. So the Legacy folks had to know what they were doing. They may not have been able to predict with absolute accuracy what would happen, but they must have known they were stirring the pot.

Anyway, the real test is how the beer tastes. Wanker and Nude Beer are mercifully no longer with us while Bad Frog isn’t really taken seriously by any beer enthusiast I know. Polygamy Porter is, at least, a decent Porter. So when the controversy ebbed, the beer could still flow. And that’s as it should be. If Hedonism Ale is a good beer, it should still be around when I make my next pilgrimage to Pennsylvania to see the family. And if that’s the case, I can’t wait to try a pint.

Russan River Brewing Co. of Santa Rosa, California was named brewery of the year by Malt Advocate. The announcement was made today with the publication of the latest issue of the magazine. Malt Advocate is primarily a magazine for the whisky enthusiast but they do cover beer, as it does contain a considerable amount of malt, after all. The Malt Advocate Whisky Awards are given each year in a variety of categories including brewery of the year. This year marks the 12th year awards have been given by the magazine. Previous winners include Stone Brewing, Deus Brut des Flandres, Victory Brewing, and New Glarus Brewing. Congratulations to Vinnie and Natalie at Russian River.

John Hansell, Publisher & Editor of Malt Advocate, had this to say about Russian River Brewing:

Beer without boundaries. I’m not sure if the Russian River Brewing Company has a motto, but this one would certainly work. One glance through their beer portfolio and you’ll understand why: Supplication, a brown ale aged for 12 months in pinot noir barrels, produced with sour cherries and wild bacteria and yeast; Beatification, a blond ale aged in New Belgium Brewing Company’s La Folie Barrels for 22 months; Pliny the Elder, a high-alcohol, high-gravity, super-hopped double IPA. Their list of beers seems endless, restricted only by how many hours a day brewing craftsman Vinnie Cilurzo (pictured) is willing to brew, and not willing to sleep.

Vinnie first started brewing Russian River beers at the Korbel Champagne Cellars in 1997, and there is indeed a wine influence in many of the beers he produces today—both in his production methods and flavors. Since 2003, he has been producing his cutting-edge beers in downtown Santa Rosa, California. Within the past two years, he has already garnered many awards and accolades from the beer industry. It’s time that the rest of the world discovers his beers. He doesn’t make much, so it will make his already scarce beers even more coveted. But in the long run, we will all benefit.

Russian River beers transcend styles and marry cultures. Truly, beer without boundaries.

Now to be fair, I’d never heard of Hahn Premium Light. It’s the “premium light” that tells you why. I tend to ignore beers with either “premium” or “light” in their name as not worthy of serious attention. Almost any beer — I can’t think of a single example, but there must be one — with the name premium cannot ever be premium, whatever that even means. It’s very use cancels out any possibility that it is, indeed, premium. A truly premium beer will be known by its taste, not its name, which is after all an extension of its marketing. And light beer is perhaps the most useless beer category ever invented, along with its step-children diet beer, low-carb beer and anti-aging beer. But as far as marketing goes, it’s an unmitigated, mind-boggling success. Like most beer geeks I know, I tend to eschew marketing and walk a different path, or is that drink a different path, or perhaps I drink to the beat of a different drummer? Alright, enough mixed metaphors, the point is there is absolutely no reason to drink a light beer … ever.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy their marketing. A case in point is this pretty funny ad for Hahn Premium Light, a beer made by Lion Nathan of Australia (and New Zealand). Lion Nathan is more well known — at least here stateside — for their other brands: Toohey’s, Steinlager, and Lion Red to name the most popular. I can only guess that Hahn Premium Light is Toohey’s Amstel Light. But enough speculation, it’s the ad that caught my attention and you’ll soon see why. I’ve always felt that the Australian sense of humor is broad and unpretentious and this ad is both of those. So take a look for yourself.

Hey, did you hear? Apparently sex sells. Who knew?

P.S. - The two prior ads, which are there on the website, are also worth watching for a laugh.

I’m pretty sure this has been around for some time now, based upon some of the beers listed which are no longer with us (e.g., New Amsterdam, Nor’Wester and Saxer). But I just came across Beershots, which is “miscroscopic views of beers from around the world.” Essentially they’re photographs of beer taken through a microscope. Some of them are pretty amazing, as you can see in the samples below. There appear to be over a hundred different beers from dozens of countries.

Anchor Steam beer

Pete’s Wicked Ale

Samuel Adams Triple Bock

I dropped by the Lagunitas Brewing Co. today on my way back from a photographic trip to Cotati. I was quite literally “in the neighborhood.” I recalled that Lagunitas was planning on being closed during the month of January and would be installing a new bottling line. So I figured I’d stop in and see if either owner Tony McGee or sales director Ron Lindenbusch were around. Happily, both were in residence so we chatted for a few minutes before Tony gave me a little look-see at the new line that’s being installed.

Bottles on the new line as engineers work to install everything.

Tony shows off the combination filler/bottle washer. It was made by Italian manufacturer BC Technologies. Apparently they’re doing a lot of business with smaller brewers who cannot afford Krones’ new pricing. Other breweries recently having installed a BC bottling line inclue Saint Arnold’s, Dogfish Head, Avery, Lost Coast and Rogue.

Tony explains how it works and how he can trick it into thinking there’s a bottle on the line.

Having tricked it into thinking there’s a bottle on the line, it got to work and sprayed a jet of water in an effort to clean the imaginary bottle.

It looks like it will be finished and up and running in another week, at most. In another part of the brewery, two new 300 BBL fermenters have been installed and one more is on order. Tony reports that sales of Lagunitas beer was up 23% last year, with their tasty IPA accounting for 70% of the business.

The fermenters out back. There is now room for five more along the back wall of the brewery.

Stone Brewing, formerly of San Marcos but now in their new facility in nearby Escondido, California, have announced a slight delay in the release date for Old Guardian Barley Wine. Instead of Januar 31, the seasonal beer will now be available on February 27.

Stone gave the following aditional information regarding the change in release date: We originally announced that the 2006 Stone Old Guardian Barley Wine would come out on January 30th, however that has changed! Seems that a new brewery kinda got in the way…The 2006 Stone Old Guardian Barley Wine will now hit shelves on Monday, February 27th so change those calendars! Your tastebuds are counting on you to check the Stone website and memorize the distribution list so you can treat them to yet another Stone Special Release. This beer is one to age in your cellar, beer ‘fridge, or someplace cool (50ish), upright, and dark. Don’t forget about the Stone Old Guardian Barley Wine Specialty Glasses. The wallop of malt character matched with a Stone-esque amount of hops immediately tells you the Old Guardian is no standard barley wine. The Specialty Glass designed for it is equally distinctive, with a sharp angular profile that immediately tells you that this too is no standard goblet. You have no excuses to drink it out of anything else. Always worth waiting for, Stone’s Old Guardian has consistently been one of the best bottled barleywine-style ales available. This has been previously announced, but the 10th Anniversary Celebration has been scheduled for September 9. I still haven’t made it to one of these brouhahas yet, but perhaps this year …. Stone also sent the following press release regarding the 10th Anniversary Party:

Are you an early riser, or an afternoon type of person? Since you’re all invited to the Stone 10th Anniversary Celebration & Invitational Beer Festival on Saturday, September 9th you need to start deciding now which session you’ll be attending. Here’s why: for this year’s event we are breaking the event into two different sessions (like last year).

Our annual event will once again be benefiting some very Worthy, local charities: the Boys & Girls Club of San Marcos, Palomar Family YMCA, the Surfrider Foundation, and Fight ALD!

Since this is our 10-year bash, we are planning on having the most guest breweries we’ve ever had, tons of great food, homebrewed sodas, and lots, lots more.

The Glen Hay Falconer Foundation announced today two events for 2006. The foundation honors the memory of iconoclastic brewer Glen Falconer, who died in a tragic accident in 2002. He brewed at Wild Duck Brewery in Eugene, Oregon. The foundation raises money for scholarships so that worthy brewers can attend the Siebel Institute in Chicago.

The dedicated group of individuals that made the past Brew Fests so successful is already planning for the fourth annual Sasquatch Brew Fest on Saturday, June 3, 2006 in Eugene. Mark your calendar and check out the festival website created and maintained by Doug Fuchs of Flying Ink Media.

On July 28, the Foundation will produce the second annual Sasquatch BrewAm golf tournament at McMenamins Edgefield. Pair up with celebrity brewers for a morning of beer and golfing camaraderie, as the Sasquatch BrewAm is unlike any other golf tournament and is designed to appeal to beer-loving golfers of all levels. Stay tuned to the festival website for more information.

I’ve never attended either event, but have heard glowing reports about both from friends who have participated. Plus, it’s a very worthy cause. Glen was a great person and is very much missed by everyone who knew him.

Today is Ralph Olson’s birthday. Ralph is the General Manager and owner of HopUnion, one of the world’s leading hop producers. But more importantly, Ralph is a great guy and big supporter of the craft brew industry.

Ralph Olson sandwiched between Jessica, the former event coordinator for the AOB and Chad Kennedy, brewer at Laurelwood Public House & Brewery in Portland, Oregon. You can see more photos of Ralph, including one in a bathing suit, on my Family Blog.

For the 300th Anniversary of the birth of Ben Franklin, which was January 17, the Benjamin Franklin Tercentenary teamed up with the Brewers Association to create a special beer to honor the occasion called “Poor Richard’s Ale.” A contest was held to choose a winning recipe. The winner was Tony Simmons of Brick Oven Brewing in Pagosa Springs, Colorado. The style was roughly that of an Old Ale or a Strong Scotch Ale. The recipe was then given out to all the Association members. Sadly, only 99 brewers made the beer, which I actually thought was a nifty little idea. That’s less than two breweries per state or about 7% of the estimated 1,368 American breweries currently operating today. Oh, well. Happily, four of those are in the Bay Area and they all got together at Half Moon Bay Brewing yesterday to taste their efforts.

The four brewers (from left to right) were Dave McLean, of Magnolia, Shaun O’Sullivan, of 21st Amendment, Emil Caluori, of Steelhead’s Burlingame brewery, and Alec Moss, of Half Moon Bay Brewing.

All four more or less followed the recipe but each deviated slightly due generally to necessity or availability of ingredients. Because of that, it was quite surprising how differently the four beers tasted given such small variations in ingredients. Even their color and head retention varied widely, as you can see below.

From left, Poor Richard’s Ale as imagined by Steelhead, 21st Amendment, Magnolia and Half Moon Bay.

The beers’ alcohol content came out pretty close with a range of 6.6-7% abv, with one each at the outside range and the other two at 6.8%. It appeared that Emil followed the recipe the closest and his at least resembled what I pictured a beer of the late 1700s to look like, cloudy and dully colored. Shaun did not use molasses and Dave used a roasted malt rather than Special Roast or Black Patent and Alec substituted Special B for the Special Roast. He also only used about half the corn the recipe called for.

Steelhead: Emil’s had that wonderful cloudy appearance with the dull brown ruddy complexion with dry malt aromas. It had very mild flavors with discernable sweet molasses, great mouthfeel, and a clean finish that boasted just a kiss of the hops at the end. This was a very drinkable beer, thirst-quenching and made it easy to imagine drinking tankards of this brew sitting outside at a wooden table on a cobblestone street in colonial Philly.

21st Amendment: Despite the forgotten molasses, Shaun’s version had a sharply sweet nose and bright golden amber color. It had crisp, clean flavors with some hoppy bitterness and a lingering finish. Also a very mild-bodied ale, it had just a touch of dry sourness lying pleasantly underneath and nipping at your taste buds. Also an excellent beer, it nonethless felt like it would be more at home in modern Philadelphia.

Magnolia: Dave’s use of roasted malt gave his beer the darkest complexion of the four. It was the black of a starless night sky with a thickly rich tan head. It also had a roasted nose with sweet aromas (the molasses?). Mild and silky smooth flavors with lactic chocolate and coffee notes from the roasted malt that would have reminded Franklin of the local milk maid, I imagine. After all, he was fond of the ladies. The finish is mostly clean with hints of the roastiness staying behind to taunt you.

Half Moon Bay: Alec’s take had dark brown color that was streaked with bright red wherever the light hit it. The nose was sharp and clean, with hints of peppery spices. Also boasting excellent mild flavors and a clean finish, this too felt like a modern interpretation.

None of the beers hinted at their above average alcohol content and could be enjoyed by the tankard or pitcher. And while there were similarities — all were mild, for example — what distinguished them was their differences. I might have expected those differences to be more subtle but in the end that would have been disappointing. As it was, it was more like great jazz bands doing their own arrangement of a old standard. Nobody wants to hear Woody Herman, Stan Kenton or Duke Ellington’s versions of “Take the A Train” all sound the same. What makes them magical is their differences. This was a great deal of fun and my only regret is that there weren’t more brewers who made their interpretation of Poor Richard’s Ale.

After the tasting, we hung out for a little while longer, enjoying a pint of this and that. It was a beautiful day on the coast with cool breezes and a warming sun that seemed more like spring than January. So with the doors wide open, we enjoyed the day as Ben Frankin might have: with good company, good conversation and a good ale.

Alec, and the rest of, listen as Shaun tells a story about the good old days on radio during a visit to see Alec’s brewhouse.

Sharing stories over a pint in the brewhouse. Form left, Alec’s assistant brewer, Dave McLean, Shaun O’Sullivan, Alec Moss and Emil Caluori.

From an anonymous source comes the rumor that a new brewery to be called Nocturnal Brewing will open in early 2006. The address will be 2205 Fairview Avenue, Brentwood, California. The only particulars I know come from an anonymous post:

Started out two years ago as a thought of opening a brewpub in our local community. We are currently planning for an opening in early 06 as a Micro Brewery only with a focus in developing our recipes and producing quality beer.

If anyone has any additional knowledge, please let me know.