Today at 3:00 p.m. (left coast time), the online auction for FredFest begins, and will close on Sunday, also at 3:00 p.m.

Here’s some of what’s up for auction, the proceeds of which will be donated to charity. You can find more information about the lots at the Liquid Solutions Blog and the auction itself is at Liquid Solutions.

1. Hair of the Dog Dave 1994 (375 ml)
2. Hair of the Dog Adam #1 1994 (12 oz.)
3. Full Sail Old Boardhead Vertical: 1998 & 1999 (12 oz.), 2001-2007 (22 oz.)
4. Pike Old Bawdy Vertical: 1996-1998, 2006-2007 (12 oz).
5. AleSmith: Old Numbskull (750 ml), Grand Cru (750 ml), Horney Devil (750 ml)
6. Lost Abbey: Older Viscosity (375 ml) Angel’s Share (375 ml), Lost and Found (750 ml)
7. Rodenbach Alexander 1991 (330 ml) and Rochefort 10 1999 (330 ml)
8. Westvleteren 12 1997 (11.2 oz.)
9. Anchor Brewing Commemorative Michael Jackson’s 60th Birthday Beer (1.5 L)
10. And others from Avery, Midnight Sun, J.W. Lees, Big Time, Fish Tale — and more

From the press release:

Beer aficionados across the nation will be reaching for their wallets this weekend when rare beers and vertical collections will be highlighted at the first-ever FredFest Online Beer Auction.

The auction starts at 3 p.m. PDT Friday, May 9 and begins to wrap up at 3 p.m. PDT Sunday, May 11. The auction is designed to run concurrently with FredFest 2008 — a celebration of the 82nd birthday of Fred Eckhardt, the Dean of American Beer Writers, which is taking place May 10 at Hair of the Dog Brewing Co., in Portland.

“FredFest started as a surprise 80th birthday party for Fred, but is coming back around in its third year as a fundraiser in the memory of fellow beer scribe and friend, Michael Jackson,” said FredFest co-organizer Lisa Morrison.

Each year, Eckhardt is asked to choose a charity for FredFest. This year, he chose Parkinson’s Resources of Oregon, a local affiliate of the National Parkinson Foundation. Jackson had been battling complications from Parkinson’s disease when he died last summer.

The first-ever FredFest online auction was the brainchild of Hair of the Dog owner Alan Sprints, Ben Love of Hopworks Urban Brewery and Matt Maples of Liquid Solutions bottle shop.

It’s for a worthy cause, so bid generously.

We’re so used to seeing top ten lists of the ten best of whatever that a list of the worst always seems like a fresh look. Joey Redner, who writes for the Tampa Bay Times, in a recent column listed his choices for the world’s worst beers. Like any such list, it will never find universal agreement, but that’s okay. There are a number of truly horrible beer on his list. I’m not sure it’s fair to include a non-alcoholic beer — which he awards the top spot — as without the alcohol I’m not sure it actually qualifies as beer.

Here’s his list.

1. Busch NA
2. Camo Genuine Ale
3. Chapeau Exotic
4. Hurricane High Gravity Lager
5. Bootie U95
6. Winter Park Beer
7. Cave Creek Chili Beer
8. Sleeman Clear Lager
9. Milwaukee’s Best
10. Coors Aspen Edge

Frankly, I’d put Corona and Heineken on the list for sheer popularity vs. lack of taste (not to mention being frequently lightstruck). And I suppose the entire exercise begs the question as to whether bad and bland are one and the same or distinctively different enough. Should the merely bland and inoffensive be considered bad or must a beer be particularly and specifically ill-conceived, badly executed or so obviously lacking in graces to be considered one of the worst?

Last week, Stevens Point Brewing of the eponymous town in Wisconsin, released their summer beer, Nude Beach Summer Wheat, with a label featuring nudists frolicking in the sand and surf, with beach accessories showing up in conveniently immodest places making the whole scene decidedly PG. And that might have been the end of it, were it not for the sudden and apparently unexpected support of the American Association for Nude Recreation.

From the press release: Summer Wheat Ale is Point Brewery’s Latest Seasonal Beer Summer is coming so it’s the perfect time to take the wraps off and enjoy Point Nude Beach Summer Wheat, a new hand-crafted seasonal specialty beer from the Stevens Point Brewery. Beginning May 1st, Point Nude Beach Summer Wheat, a satisfying unfiltered wheat ale, will be available in 12-ounce bottles and kegs wherever Point brands are sold. Point Nude Beach Summer Wheat is a fun, refreshing beer for hot summer afternoons and evenings, according to Joe Martino, Stevens Point Brewery Operating Partner. “It’s the perfect summer brew for summer thirsts. What can be more fun than a nude beach?” he said. “Where and how you enjoy Point Nude Beach Summer Wheat is up to you. Clothing is optional.” “Wheat beers represent one of the most popular segments of the 8-million-barrel U.S. craft beer market and have recently enjoyed double-digit sales growth in many regions, including the Midwest where Point sales are strong,” Martino said, adding that he expects wheat beer sales to keep up their brisk pace this summer, too. Brewed with Wheat and Barley With a rich golden color reminiscent of an early summer tan, Point Nude Beach Summer Wheat is brewed with “au naturel” raw white wheat, malted red wheat and highly kilned specialty barley malts, according to Point Brewmaster John Zappa. “The barley malts are very different from other malts used to brew Point beers and add a slightly sweet maltiness to the flavor,” he said. The Stevens Point Brewery In addition to the seasonal beers Point Oktoberfest, Einbock and St. Benedict’s Winter Ale, the Point brands include Point Special Lager, Point Classic Amber, Point Cascade Pale Ale, Point Belgian White and Point Horizon Wheat. Point Special Lager won the gold medal in the American Premium Lager category at the 2003 Great American Beer Festival.

According to a story in today’s Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, the new seasonal beer “quickly drew attention from the nation’s nudists, said Carolyn Hawkins, spokeswoman for the American Association for Nude Recreation, a group that claims 47,000 members who enjoy sunbathing, swimming and other activities au naturel. The Kissimmee, Fla.-based group bills itself as ‘a trusted source for nudist information on such topics as what to expect at a nudist club, a nudist resort, or even from a skinny dipping experience. Our members have bombarded us with messages’ about Nude Beach, Hawkins said.”

So she got in touch with the brewery and inquired if they would be willing to provide beer for the group’s annual convention, which this year will be held in the nearby “Turtle Lake Resort in Union City, Mich., which is south of Battle Creek, from Aug. 11-17.” Steven Point Brewing agreed to give the AANR twenty-five cases in exchange for some advertisements in the newsletter and convention program. The group’s second choice was New Belgium’s Skinny Dip, but it’s not distributed in Michigan.

The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel piece ends with:

Nude Beach will probably see a spike in sales thanks to the buzz among nudists, Hawkins predicted.

“The nudist organizations all stick together,” she said.

Martino welcomes the fans of his nude, uh, new beer.

“It’s a whole subculture that I didn’t know existed,” said Martino, whose company is probably best known for brewing Point Special Lager.

He had me going up to that point, but here’s how the brewery’s website describes the beer:

Point Nude Beach is the perfect summer pleasure. Available only during the warm months of summer, this lively and unfiltered wheat ale is well balanced using “au naturel” raw and red wheat, then delicately finished with Yakima hops. With a refreshing light flavor, Point Nude Beach is perfect while enjoying summer activities or just hanging out with friends. Clothing optional.

Introduced: 2008
Availability: May 1 - August 1
Suggested Pairings: Chicken, Pork, Summer Salads, SPF 30 and Swim Suit (optional.)

Sounds like their tongue was fully inserted in their cheek from the get-go. If they didn’t know it existed, how did they manage to depict it so well on the label? Anyway, false modestly aside it’s still pretty funny. especially that the nudists so quickly embraced it.

You can get a better look at the label on the six-pack carrier.

A while ago when I was actively trying to increase my collection of beer quotations, the ones that randomly appear in the upper right-hand corner every time you reload the page, I kept finding ones that were part of larger poems. Having something of an obsession with words — and poetry for that matter — I made a page of beer poetry. When I come across another one I find interesting, I add it. There are now 22 of them. Some are quite old, some are by famous poets, and a few are just plain goofy. Take the one below, for example, a spoof of Joyce Kilmer’s famous Trees poem, credited to a Joyce Killjoy by a homebrew club in Boston, The Boston Wort Processors. They have their own small page of five beer poems, including this Trees spoof.

I think that I shall never hear A poem as lovely as a beer The brew that Joe’s bar has on tap With golden base and snowy cap The foamy stuff I drink all day Until my memory melts away Poems are made by fools I fear But only the Worts can make a beer   Notice it’s 4 lines short from the original and references the club in the final line.

It’s good on its own, but enter that word obsession of mine, and I couldn’t let well enough alone. I added the four missing lines and made several additional modifications. I think I improved it, but what do you think?

This video was sent to me by the folks at Holy Taco, which appears to be a humor site for the college crowd. It’s a little goofy and some of the humor, sorry Alan — humour, misses the mark, though I certainly did laugh at parts of it. But what made it worthwhile, for me at least, is that they actually let them film inside one of the tanks, empty except for the beechwood chips. Having toured my fair share of Budweiser plants, they really gave these guys “inside access.” Though the segment where the host and the tour guide help “give birth” to the beer seems a little too over the top for my tastes, that or it may be I’m just getting old.

Holy Taco Goes To Budweiser

For our 15th Session, the topic remains personal, but instead of profiling another person, the goal is to hold up a mirror to see ourselves. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, how did you get started in this all? Our hosts, Boak and Bailey, want to know “the moment when you saw the light. At what point did you realise you were a beer lover / geek / enthusiast? What beer(s) triggered the conversion? Did someone help you along your way, or did you come to it yourself?”

I’ve actually written about this before, two years ago. And if you think I’ve been long-winded before, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. There’s a collective writing exercise known as NaNoWriMo, which is short for “National Novel Writing Month.” During the month of November, whoever wants to participate is challenged to write a 50,000-word novel in thirty days. That works out to just under 1,700-words per day. The first NaNoWriMo took place in November of 1999 with under two dozen friends of founder Chris Baty trying to write a novel in his apartment. Last year, it’s ninth, over 100,000 people gave it a shot. Of those, 15,000 people managed to finish writing 50,000 words, which is the equivalent of a short novel of around 175 pages.

I’ve done NaNoWriMo three times, and managed to complete it each time. I skipped last year because I was in Bavaria for almost two weeks in November, but the previous three years I spent my Novembers writing even more than I usually do. It was a terrific experience each time and one I heartily recommend. It made me a much faster writer. When you have such daunting deadlines, you learn to just keep going and write through any blocks. You get into a zone where it just pours out of you, akin to a runner’s high. And that’s proved quite valuable as I take on more and more writing assignments. Plus it’s a lot of fun just to see what comes out.

The NaNoWriMo website puts it like this:

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It’s all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that’s a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

So why bring this up? Because in 2006, I wrote a literary memoir about growing up with beer. It was called Under the Table and subtitled A Fictional Memoir of Growing Up With Beer. What I meant by that I wrote about in a foreword, but essentially I combined events and characters, moved some dates around and changed a few details in order to make the story work better, a perfectly acceptable practice in the genre. Since I was writing on the fly, I organized it into twenty-four chapters, a case of chapters. I chose two dozen beers that I remember from my childhood and used each one as a jumping off point to trigger remembering incidents in my life, similar to the way Proust did with pastry in Remembrance of Things Past. The story is filled with underage drinking, teen sex and violent alcoholic psychopaths. Almost all of it is true, but I’m not saying which is which.

The question of how it all started for me with better beer is largely answered in Chapter 24, Jazz in the Dark. The beers were Bass Ale and Guinness that introduced me to beer with flavor. I was stationed on Staten Island with an Army Band and many of the Manhattan jazz clubs I frequented in New York City in the late 1970s had begun carrying the two. They were as different as night and day from the regional lagers that all tasted the same I had grown up on. They were the catalyst that drove me to learn more about beer and discover what else beer could be. That was exactly thirty years ago and I’ve never looked back.

The whole novel is online if you’re feeling really bored or have a long wait ahead of you in the emergency room. Be warned, it is a rough draft, literally written in one take — extemporaneously — eighteen months ago. At the end of November 2006, I crossed the finish line at 55,622 words. But although I met the challenge of 50,000 words in thirty days, I had stopped in the middle of the second to last chapter. It’s hard to explain, but once the peer pressure and self-imposed routine has ended I’ve found it near impossible to keep going on December 1. But that was okay, because there was only one person who really wanted me to finish it. Shaun O’Sullivan, from 21st Amendment, got pneumonia that same November, and was stuck at home, bored. So he ended up reading — and apparently enjoying — Under the Table. He continued to pester me for months afterwards to finish the last two chapters and it became a running gag between us. So Shaun, I’m happy to tell you the wait is over and it’s finally done, or at least the first draft is.

Since this is a post about ourselves, I pulled out this old label. It’s for a private label brand we were developing at Beverages & more shortly before I left the company. It wasn’t my idea. The VP of marketing, who himself was a Brit, came up with it and the plan was to have a line of English-style ales to complement some of the others we were working on, like Coastal Fog, Brandenburg Gate and Truman’s True Blue. I guess he thought my name sounded sufficiently English. The initial styles were to be an IPA and an ESB. Anyway, it got scrapped but I still have a few labels left and they’re fun to see. I like the fact that not only am I bitter, but Extra Specially Bitter. That’s me, alright. To read Under the Table, follow this link to the home page. You can either just scroll down as you read or use the chapter numbers in the sidebar to move from chapter to chapter. I confess I’m more than a little nervous that it’s too self-indulgent or just plain crap, but you only learn by doing and this is definitely me just going for it and giving it a try. If you do actually give a read, even just part of it, please let me know what you thought. But please do go easy on me. Not only is it as rough a draft as I could imagine, but it’s very personal, too. Constructive criticism is always appreciated but let’s not be too insulting or harsh. This is my life we’re talking about, after all. My life with beer. Cheers!

I came across a website the today, while trying to read the Danish article, that had the ability to be translated into a variety of languages. I thought being able to reach a significantly wider audience seemed like a cool idea, so I did a little digging around and settled on a WordPress plugin, the Taragana Translator Pro. You can see it there in the right-hand sidebar under the heading “Translate the Bulletin.” Simply click on the flag representing one of the thirteen available languages, and voilà, it will reload the page in that language. You can then navigate to any post or page on the Bulletin and it will stay in that language. To return to English, simply click on the Union Jack flag.

The 13 languages you can now read the Bulletin in are:

1. German
2. Spanish
3. French
4. Italian
5. Portuguese
6. Japanese
7. Korean
8. Chinese Simplified
9. Chinese Traditional
10. Arabic
11. Dutch
12. Greek
13. Russian

Of course, I’m barely competent in English, so I have no idea how accurate the translations are. It could be complete gibberish for all I know. Anybody remember Monty Python’s Hungarian Phrasebook sketch? For all I know, every phrase could simply be rendered “my hovercraft is full of eels.” If you’re bilingual and fluent in one of the languages above, please take a look and let me know if the translations are reasonably accurate.

Jon, from the Brewsite, predicted at the beginning of this year that 2008 would be the Year of the Beer Blog. He may be onto something. Charlie Papazian just started his own beer blog, the Beer Examiner; named not so much for what he hopes to write about, but because it’s hosted on the Examiner chain of newspapers website (with print editions in 3 cities and local news online in 57 cities). Papazian, of course, founded what is now the Brewers Association way back in 1978, and has naturally been paying closer attention to the brewing industry far longer than most of us. So it should certainly prove illuminating to follow along with his near-daily “examinations” of what’s going on in the beer world. Charlie’s perspectives are always worth hearing, and I was pleased I got a chance to sit and chat with him, and a few others, during one of the trade show buffet lunches last week. I must confess I was initially surprised that his new blog wasn’t associated with the BA, but he should be able to reach a much wider audience this way so I think it does make sense. Plus he can write his own personal opinions without having to worry about speaking for the Brewers Association.

Welcome to the blogosphere, Charlie. We’re glad to have you with us.

During the trade show at the Craft Brewers Conference in San Diego last week, my good friend JoAnne Carilli, who’s with White Labs, came up to me excitedly, telling me she had something special for my kids. And she really did, as you can see these wonderful pink and blue hoodies are pretty awesome. Thanks JoAnne, I can hardly wait for winter so they can wear them all the time.

Today is my good friend and colleague Stephen Beaumont’s 44th birthday. In addition to his World of Beer, he also blogs online at On the House and That’s the Spirit. And when you’re in Toronto, be sure to stop in at his beer bistro. Join me in wishing Stephen a happy birthday.

Stephen with Tom Dalldorf at the Great Divide reception at last year’s GABF.

Stephen Beaumont and his fiance Maggie, and me, in the Bay Area for the Celebrator anniversary party a couple of years ago.

Stephen, Tom Dalldorf and me at 21st Amendment for a roast I threw for Tom’s 60th birthday several years ago.

Up against the wall with Judy Ashworth at GABF two years ago.

Today is the 29+11th birthday of Amy Dalton. Amy is the Advertising Manager for All About Beer magazine. As evidenced by the fact that none of the photos below feature Amy alone, she’s a consummate people person. A veteran of the newspaper industry, she’s been selling ads to the beer world now for several years and, hopefully, has grown to appreciate the quirks and oddities of most of us in the beer community. Join me in wishing Amy a very happy birthday.

At the reception before the World Cup Gala Awards Dinner, with Tomme Arthur, a few nights ago at this year’s Craft Brewers Conference.

Amy in between Jim Koch and Rick Lyke, along with Daniel Bradford at the far left, at a Boston Beer Brunch during GABF a few years ago.

All About Beer publishers Daniel Bradford and Julie Johnson Bradford with Amy at last year’s Craft Brewers Conference in Austin, Texas.

While attending the annual Bay Area Firkin Festival in Berkeley a few weeks ago at Triple Rock, I was again struck by this beautiful old ad for Genesee beer in upstate New York.

It’s a great play on words, and got me thinking about the phrase it’s based on: the midnight ride of Paul Revere, which in turn was the inspiration for another beer.

Anchor’s wonderful Liberty Ale, a favorite of mine, was first released today, April 18, in 1975. This date was chosen because it was the 200th anniversary of Paul Revere’s ride, as immortalized in the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow poem Paul Revere’s Ride, which begins: Listen my children and you shall hear Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere, On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five; Hardly a man is now alive Who remembers that famous day and year. Here’s how Anchor describes the beer: A special top-fermenting ale yeast is used during fermentation and is responsible for many of Liberty Ale’s subtle flavors and characteristics. Carbonation is produced by an entirely natural process called “bunging,” which produces champagne-like bubbles. Dry-hopping (adding fresh hops to the brew during aging), imparts a unique aroma to the ale. It is a process rarely used in this country today. As historians will tell you, the poem takes quite a few liberties with the true story, but because of it, Paul Revere is the only one of the three riders that night that is remembered. You can read an account on Wikipedia and there’s also ones on the Patriot Resource and Travel & History. But anything that inspires so fine a beer as Liberty Ale can’t be all bad, so let’s drink a bottle or draft of Liberty Ale tonight and toast Paul Revere. Cheers.

And to add a little culture into the discussion, this is one of my favorite paintings by Grant Wood, called The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere, also based on the poem. Grant Wood is best known for his iconic painting American Gothic but there are some other great works in his oeuvre.